I sit here a little overwhelmed at everything that is going on right now, but realistically I am coping pretty well. Both physical and emotional pain have been high for a couple weeks, and I’m doing what I can to deal and push through it. With my pain levels as high as they have been my progress has slowed, and I’m trying to accept this as just a step in the process.
Let’s start with the emotional pain: this week my brain acknowledged that a handful of trauma anniversaries are coming up all within the next two months and I’ve been using every coping mechanism I have. I’m lucky enough to know myself and exactly what I need in these times because, December and January have been tough ones for me for years now. My most used tools this week were: square breathing, meditation, physical activity, and getting musically creative. If you are struggling this season do not forget to reach out to someone you trust and talk about it.
Between a spike in my chronic migraines and recovery pains I have gone back to having more rest days than productive ones and being the perfectionist I am is quite frustrating. So much of this time is spent pent up on the couch staying as still as possible so I don’t make the nausea worse. Probably why I used to play three instruments that took little to no torso movement before paralysis haha. As the body heals and muscles grow so does the pain. It feels like every other day the pain is a new game. I have to wake up and take each day as it comes, no plan, only a general direction and the internal drive to continue to heal.
I am hoping that next week is at least physically easier so I can get some of my personal goals back on track. Whatever happens happens and will continued to be honoured as just part of the journey. How are all of you doing this week?